Today has been an adventure.
We checked in at 6:30 a.m. I was taken to a room where a nice woman shaved my leg and my butt. And then a nice young man with a Montreal Canadiens logo tattooed on his arm asked me some questions and gave me some pills to swallow. Corinne who was prepared to spend the day at the hospital, was told she might as well go home and wait for a call.
I slipped into a stylish purple gown and was wheeled to the operating room. The anaesthetist is a good friend of a previous neighbor, and we had a good chat. Then my dear neighbor Johannes, who works at the hospital, appeared and wished me luck. It was wonderful to see her.
The next thing I remember was waking up with two beautiful nurses looking down on me. I wondered whether I had died during surgery, but learned that I was in the recovery room. The surgery had only taken 3 hours not 4 and I’m told that it went well.
Now I’m in my room looking at the casino through my window, feeling good, and typing on my phone. People complain about hospital food, but this evening I felt like I was dining at a fine French restaurant. I had creme de pomme de Terre and the sandwich du jour followed by cubes of jello. It was excellent.
Corinne and Matt were here for a visit. They’ve gone now, but I’m feeling quite at home.
I don’t feel any negative affects from the drugs. They seem to make me more honest though. If it weren’t for the drugs I probably wouldn’t mention the rubber hose that is stuck up my penis. Those readers who have penises will imagine what this feels like. It’s not painful, but it is a bit weird. It’s not something that I ever considered doing at home. The good thing is that I never have to get up to pee.
I could say more but I won’t. I think the drugs are wearing off.
Ron's Hip Adventure 
So glad to hear that it went well, Ron. Keep up the good work!
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Haha! Oh man. You’re hilarious, Ron. Thank you for this gem of a blog. Here’s to a speedy recovery!
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Thank you Adam. I’ll try to keep finding material.
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Thank you for a blog that is both reassuring and alarming in equal measure. It is going to be some time before I will feel able to hose the garden without anxiety.
Get some rest, my friend. XO
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Holly you made me laugh out loud, and it hurt.
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Glad that your surgery went well. Now you’ll be on the road to recovery.
All the best,
Connie and family
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Thank you, Connie, for your good wishes. I’ll see you before long.
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Hey Ron I have been thinking of you today and am glad to hear it has gone so well. Nice to hear Johanne was able to visit. There is nothing like having “connections.” Charlotte
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It was a surprise to see Johanne in the operating room. She even had the green clothes and mask. Hope you guys are enjoying Paris in the springtime.
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It’s amazing that you are up to blogging Ron! They must have you on some good drugs. We were thinking of you today. Heal well…xo
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Sounds like you’re picking up ideas to try at home. 😉 I’m glad to hear it all went well. Soon you’ll be running marathons!
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Glad the surgery went well and am thrilled at the thought of your smooth butt. Richard says be sure to stay away from enhancing drugs that would make the tube uncomfortable
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Maggie, I’m so glad that you’re thrilled at the thought of my smooth butt. Others have been repulsed.
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That your surgery went well AND you had two beautiful nurses AND your beautiful wife AND your handsome son come visit is a testament to the vital, young-ish looking man you are. When I come visit later this month perhaps we can rent a bicycle for two and go for a ride? Look on the brighter side of the tube in the unmentionable place. “This too will pass.”
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You’re right, Rod. It did pass. The tube is a distant memory.
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Forgot. Happy Cinco de Mayo. When you being released?
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I hope the 4th is still with you on the 5th Ron! This was truly an adventure for me to read of the good and bad of your hip surgery.It sounds like it was a success so I will cheer Hip Hip Hooray !! I hope this will not be the end of your blog.
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Thank you Cathy. The fourth and your good wishes continue to be with me.
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I shot tea out of my nose when I read the rubber hose/penis thing. Too funny.
So very glad you’re doing well Ron! Wishing you a speedy recovery!
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That’s so cool Keri. I’d love to see you shoot tea out of your nose sometime. 🙂
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I’m glad to see that the surgery didn’t accidentally amputate your brilliant sense of humor! Thanks for pointing me to this blog, Ron, and I wish you a speedy recovery!
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Thanks for reading, Mike. When this is over, we’ll get together to share hospital stories.
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” beautiful nurses “? OK, I think you are recovering extremely fast 🙂
I am glad you feel well, wishing you fast recovery.
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You are looking great Ron. It was such an honour to be there for your first tubeless, post-operation urination–one small squirt for a man but one roaring cataract on your road to recovery. Keep up the good work!
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You are always quotable, John.
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Oh my goodness….not only are you hilarious, but your friends are too! I am going to be so healthy after this blog is completed….. So glad all is well in all areas of your being 😉
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My friends are very funny. You’ll get to meet some of them in our backyard when they come to visit. Thanks for following, Esther.
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Did you get your entire butt shaved or just the one cheek? Glad it went well and here’s to a speedy recovery!
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Good point, Stella. It was just the one cheek. For the sake of symmetry, I may do the other one myself.
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Another bit of humour came out of this. My brother, Mark, was at a gig when he read the blog entry. I may have the story wrong, but I believe that Mike Tremblay then suggested that they play the song, “Shaving All My Butt for You” based on the Whitney Houston classic “Saving All My Love for You.”
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As I read this, my son walks in and I hear him say: ” I have to write 3 body parts for my topic.” What? Oh, you said “3 body paragraphs”.
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I am so glad it all went so well, and your sense of humor is well-nourished by every experience at the hospital. 🙂 When I saw you this afternoon, you looked amazing for someone who just had surgery. You are definitely the most positive person I know, someone who always finds the funny side of life, captures it, and shares it with others. Thank you for that! Keep writing. 🙂
Wishing you a very speedy recovery.
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It was great to see you at the hospital, Stela. I appreciate your friendship and support over the years. I will keep writing.
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Glad the surgery went well, Ron! Good luck in your recovery!
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Thank you Jenny. I’m glad my blog made it to England. Good luck with any marathons in your future.
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Hum… I don’t know about you, Ron, but I do not know anybody (or any animal, for that matter) “who has penises”.
Yet, I’m happy to hear they didn’t amputate your (very special, if I must say) sense of humour.
Eat your jello and get strong.
Guy
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Good point Guy. Only an expert linguist like you would pick up on that.
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